This week we had Class 3, Meditation and The Ground of Being, and here I am, posting and entry to my blog, as I do after every Class. I don’t necessarily want to do this tonight. Indeed, since class, I have had two days when I feel like I have played “full out,” and now I would much rather relax. You know, “take it easy” and watch some TV, just chill. Yet, here I am, for this is clearly something that I need to do. So, whether I want to or not, or feel like doing it is just not a consideration. After all, I’m writing this out of my desire, more than anything else to consciously evolve and to no longer be imprisoned by any want or feeling, good or bad. Finally, I’m here doing this out of a sacred obligation that I’ve made both as a student of Andrew’s and as an Instructor of the Introduction to Evolutionary Enlightenment Course.

In moments like these, I find myself struggling against my conditioning, fighting to go beyond and pay attention to something other than the force of my own narcissism. Yet, also it is in moments like these, that I feel so grateful for the power and clarity of The Teachings themselves. For it is through the practice of Evolutionary Enlightenment that I have come to know who I really am, why I’m here, and how to live my life.

The gift of Evolutionary Enlightenment has been the end to a radical degree of any existential confusion in my life. Before, I struggled with a lot of things. Now, it seems as though all my struggles are about living up to what I know to be True, where integrity has become a matter of my being in congruence with the Authentic Self. So, in moments like this I am grateful. Grateful to be able to consciously participate in the evolution of consciousness; grateful to no longer have any doubts about life; grateful to have a teacher like Andrew and be part of a revolution in consciousness and culture where people bring out the best in you..

So what, might you ask, does this all have to do with meditation and the Ground of Being? Evolutionary Enlightenment is a learned perspective. And. it is through the practice of meditation that I am learning to let go - learning that I am not the movement of my thought and the presence of my feelings. For in experiencing the absolute depth of who I am, I have come to know the Self free of the fear, concern and desire. And the more I come to know the Authentic Self, the more I am able to live a life of conscious choice. For that, I am grateful. For choice is freedom. So, perhaps choosing to write this blog tonight is a victory, a small act of being free.

What do you think?

   WHOA!  What a class.  I feel that we are creating a vortex of evolutionary energy in Philadelphia.  It is so exciting to be a part of it.  Can a group of people, intent on understanding and experiencing the power of Evolutionary Enlightenment, CREATE the future?  Is it possible for each and every one of us to leave behind what we know, and change...really change in the space of these five short weeks?  Judging by last night's class, I say, YES!

   This is the second course that we are having in Philadelphia and what is mysterious to me, yet palpable, is the depth and perspective of the students in this course.  It seems that we're going further and deeper than the first course.  In fact, if you think of consciousness as a field, could it be that what I am experiencing is this field developing itself through the conscious participation of us all? As if the conscious intent of the people in the first course laid down some grooves in consciousness that we are now developing further?  Is this how culture develops?

   This is what leads me to think that we are creating this evolutionary vortex.   And, even if you don't believe in vortices or morphogenetic fields, experiencing the power of a spiritual inquiry amongst a group of people with a singular intent for Self development is enough to make the most skeptical amongst us, begin to leave self-consciousness behind -lightening up for the sake of evolution. 

 

It's challenging to get back to writing this blog after an almost three month hiatus, but I know that where the juice in life is where the challenges are.  So, it's great to be back.  The impetus for me to take my place behind the keyboard again was the kickoff to the second Introduction to Evolutionary Enlightenment Course in Philadelphia.  We started the course with fourteen people and I am thrilled to be teaching along with my colleague and friend Kevin McCracken.  It's wild to be co-teaching with someone rather than doling it on my own.  It seems so much richer and there is so much more possible out of having two perspectives united as a force for conscious evolution! 

The course got off to a great start - it felt like the time flew!    Seeing everything newly, with fresh eyes, demands a care and attention that is almost unimaginable.  However, if I can let go of "how much I "think" I know" and go further and deeper into these radically new teachings, then I feel that we - I, Kevin and the students--who have come to understand and experience the teachings of Evolutionary Enlightenment, have the possibility of miraculously developing our Selves during the course of these next five weeks.  It is a privilege to teach this course and be in the presence ofsuch a wonderful body of students..    In order for me to "walk my talk" over the course of the journey that we have come together in Philadelphia to take, I must be willing to change now!

     I miss not going to Philadelphia to teach the course.   The hours spent studying and preparing; the inter-subjective engagement on conference calls with my fellow teachers, seeing this revolutionary course come to light in cities all over the world.  And, of course, traveling back and forth from New York with my friend and fellow-student, Kevin, as we shared this adventure in consciousness together - him at the wheel of the Honda Odyssey, always challenging me to go further.  Most importantly, however, I miss the inquiry and interactions with the students.  Their interest, questions and their wanting to know more, had me grappling, with and at, the edges of my experience and what I know.  At times, it even seemed as if we were all on the edge of making the unknown known together.  
     What I learned through teaching is that information and understanding is necessary but not sufficient when you are practicing evolutionary enlightenment.  Rather, I learned that what is most important is being authentic, listening deeply to others, and responding from one's own experience.  Indeed, teaching interrupted the complacency that I had about how much I felt I knew, or any notion, that I had arrived at a certain place in my own development.  For, the more I felt that I was developing, the more I realized how much I didn't know and how far I had to go; In fact, I was always finding myself at my own beginning.
     Teaching was a humbling experience, one in which I began to trust the grooves of my own passion and more and more allowed my heart to guide me, renouncing my need to come up with the right things to say or parrot the words of my teacher when challenged.  Indeed, so many times I caught myself cognitively saying the right things; saying things that could even be intriguing or inspiring, but that lacked the weight of my own experience.  I learnt what Andrew Cohen means when he says that even a discussion of the most profound and subtle spiritual matters can often become just sophisticated conceptual entertainment. For, at times, I couldn't back my communications up, because I wasn't living those truths deeply enough.   And, living them is my authenticity; communicating and responding to others from the depths of my soul rather than speaking from the trappings of my mind.
     Finally, I am so very grateful to my teacher, Andrew Cohen and to Jeff Carreira, who designed this course, for giving me this priceless opportunity.  I'm also grateful to those in Philadelphia who came together to create the beginnings of this "evolutionary vortex;" especially the students, whose participation, interest and engagement with the course has me eagerly wondering "What's Next?"

     On Monday, we delved into the path of Evolutionary Enlightenment,  The Five Fundamental Tenets of Enlightenment.   These tenets, when practiced, allow us to live in accordance with the Absolute perspective of the Authentic Self, in all places, under all circumstances, no matter what our feeling or experience is.  Living with allegiance to the Authentic Self is living a life of victory, now, for the Authentic Self is already and always free.  Indeed, living from the first tenet, Clarity of Intent, a deep desire to be free more than anything else, is nothing but our own declaration of freedom!  For, the choice to be free also carries with it our choice to live with unconditional responsibility, giving us the power to face everything and avoid nothing.  Where, moment by moment we begin a noble but ultimately victorious struggle with our darkest impulses on the one hand, and on the other, begin to identify more and more with our light. 

     Renouncing the victim position; moving beyond Ego, a fire begins to burn in our hearts; fear and self-concern melting away in the evolutionary energy of the Authentic Self.   We can no longer turn back.  With a growing conviction, we cultivate the deepest positive human qualities, those of our own soul -- our capacity for integrity, conscience, transparency and integrity.  For we know that we'll need the strength to choose again and again the Authentic Self, the source of enlightenment, when we're challenged and our back is up against the wall, with the momentum of our own conditioning threatening to overtake us.

     As an awakening human, our personal drama falling away, we no longer feel divided.  The focus of our attention now becomes the one pointed mission of the Authentic Self -   to evolve.   For we recognize that we are that and we know that nothing can be more important, for the evolution of consciousness can only happen through our absolute participation.  It's up to us, and we care. 

     In Class IV we moved further into the heart of these teachings of liberation for the 21^st Century.  We looked at and experienced the two radically different perspectives of Evolutionary Enlightenment, the Ego and the Authentic Self.    Indeed, between the last class and this one, we all experienced, to varying degrees, the basic movement of Evolutionary Enlightenment which is letting go of the Ego, or a negative relationship to life, "falling back" into the ground of being, where there is no relationship to life and then re-emerging on "the other side" as The Authentic Self, or a positive relationship to life. 

     Andrew Cohen talks about the movement out of the ground of being "where there is absolute, unparalleled freedom, abiding for eternity in the infinite peace of the ground of being.  And yet, from this empty ground, beyond life and death, there mysteriously arises a pure impulse to become, to take form. This imperative to evolve or God impulse, when experienced directly, is felt as absolute love-an ecstatically positive, completely unified surge towards manifestation. Utterly life-affirming, the expression of this imperative in the awakening human is called the authentic self."

     As I taught this class, I could feel a tension and stirring in the room,  as if together, everyone was grappling with these two aspects of us.   And, on the way back to New York, Kevin, a fellow student, also remarked that there seemed to be a lot of moving around in the room, people getting up, even taking cell phone calls, etc.  And, although I could be wrong, when I thought about it, it made sense.  The Ego, the holder of our self-consciousness and self-concern, is resistant to change, especially at the foundational level of our Self.    Indeed, I can sense where in my own life I am still so invested in maintaining my self-identity.    The Authentic Self, on the other hand, thrives on change and creating the future. 

     The practice of Evolutionary Enlightenment all comes down to the choices that we make.  Specifically, the choice to live in accordance with the Authentic Self vs. the Ego, until our allegiance to the Authentic Self accounts for more than 51% of our choices.  So could it be that even though we were recognizing the truth of what was being said, the stirring and tension in the room (including me!), was The Ego, appearing as us (or rather as us unconsciously choosing it)?  Indeed, if the self that you know yourself to be, that you are indeed even comfortable with, suddenly gets called into question, wouldn't you have the impulse to protect "yourself" or even fight back? 

     Its one thing to understand what "ego-death" is, but it is quite a different story when it comes to having the strength to change in the face of it.  Who wants to go down with the "ship"?

     It's the day before Thanksgiving and there is a lot that I have to be thankful for.  In many ways, my life looks the same as it did last year at this time.  At least the outer circumstances of my life haven't changed much.  But, what has changed and what I am eternally grateful for, is the evolving and deepening perspective that I have on why I am here, where I am going, and how I shall live my life.  Fundamentally, I have answered those questions for myself through the study and practice of Evolutionary Enlightenment (see two minute video).  It began four years ago when I said in a retreat with Andrew Cohen, "Yes, I want to be free more than anything else,"  
     Since then, the ever-evolving challenge of life has become a matter of me living up to, moment to moment, to what I, in my heart know to be absolutely true.  It's a struggle that I am thankful for.  I feel blessed to have awoken to the opportunity to consciously participate in the evolutionary process; knowing how essential it is to the creative unfolding of the Kosmos.  And for someone like me, who at 56, still has a big ego, it's a blessing to feel the importance of my personal drama melt away,  in the light of the dawning realization that it is "up to us;" that it is through our hearts and mind that the Universe is starting to know itself and consciously evolve.
     I'm thankful to have Andrew Cohen as my teacher and to live a life, enriched by the joy of coming together with others from around the world; people who are creating a revolution in consciousness and culture, "for the sake of the whole."   Finally, teaching the Introduction to Evolutionary Enlightenment Course to a group of highly motivated participants is a gift.  It's a thrilling, humbling experience.   With each class, as the students respond from their interest in going further, it reaches a place where I no longer have answers.  It's as if the tethers that bind and hold me down to what I know begin to loosen. Leaving me on the edge of my own conscious evolution, passion awakened, being with them as a higher  "We," going into the unknown.   
     Happy Thanksgiving.

     Monday's class was entitled "Meditation and The Ground of Being - and it felt as if, by the end of the night, all 15 of us had fallen into the Ground of Being; reluctant to move from the stillness that emerged.  When we finally did "emerge," it seemed as if my self-consciousness had faded away, for I felt "embedded" in an inter-subjective field of consciousness.  Awakening to this, I felt more fully my-Self; more "real," as if there was an "I" no longer bounded by the limitations of self consciousness.   It even felt like a higher "We" was present.  
      Throughout the evening, we discussed meditation as a fundamental practice of Evolutionary Enlightenment.  Within the context of this enlightenment, meditation is more than a profound experience of depth.   Rather, letting go into the Ground of Being, can serve as a springboard by which one can awaken to the Authentic Self.     Further viewing meditation, as a practice of "letting everything be as it is," we listened to a guided meditation, "Having Nothing."    In it, Andrew Cohen speaks about meditation as a metaphor for enlightenment - for living a liberated life.  He says, "in letting everything be what it is, we must give up our attachments to being someone, knowing something and to particular objects that make us feel significant."  
      For some people, meditation comes easy - for me, that wasn't the case.   At first, I couldn't sit still for more than five minutes, for I was constantly  getting caught up in the movement of compulsive thinking.  Now, after 4 years of meditating, it can still be, at times, a tortuous experience.  But, why, if falling into the ground of being is so deeply satisfying, does meditation need to be such a struggle? I thought further about this in light of the perspective of meditation as "having nothing, knowing nothing, and being nobody."  Indeed, after a life dedicated to being somebody and getting somewhere, letting go at the deepest level, of the sense of who I am seems terrifying.  Yet, who is the "I" (self) that is terrified? -- Certainly not the Authentic Self or the "I" who has tasted the bliss of the Ground of Being. 
    Rather, it appears that the "I" who is terrified is none other than the "I"   as Ego who I have mis-identified as "me."   To the Ego, or illusory self, losing the bubble of self identity from which I peer out at the world from, seems like death.   In light of this, my resistance to meditation, is nothing but "me" as Ego.  Denying the Ground of Being itself, makes it possible to go on living as who my conditioning  tells me I am - a personal separate self sense, who is the judge of meaning in the world.  Whose fears and desires are real and who must, as Andrew says, surround itself with particular objects that make me feel significant.  
    So, I see that when I struggle with meditation it is a struggle for the right reason.  I meditate to remind myself that I am not a prisoner.   I mediate to encounter the truth of who I really am - inherently free.  I also, again and again want to be able to taste the groundless ground that is the source of my own deepest Self, so that I never forget that it is who I am.  
     Part of our goal for this course is to build a culture between us.  After tasting that ground together with fellow journeyers on Monday night, I sensed that the culture developing between us was deepening.

On the way back from Philadelphia today, I was thinking about just how much is required of us to take our place as an awakening human in an evolving cosmos.   Jeff Carreira, in one of his blogs, talked about the courage and commitment that it takes to actually force yourself to try to see through to a level of consciousness that is literally beyond the one that you are at. He used the same metaphor as the one I used in class, when he described the experience of this line of inquiry as like pushing your face into ice: "...it is painful to maintain contact with the new perspective, but if you keep leaning in you will feel the ice melt and you will start to push deeper into it"  I feel like Jeff is speaking for me when he goes on to say:  "..to me it is a powerful analogy, because it describes one aspect of my own experience of striving for higher and deeper perspectives perfectly. In Foxhollow, we talked about what a kosmo-centric perspective would really be like. We attempted to stretch to see ourselves not as a static fixed entity that is embedded in the universe, but as a process that erupts through time and ultimately as The Process of life that is erupting through time."   This very notion of seeing myself as a process is very challenging.  Awakening to the realization that as an Evolving Self, I am a prism through which (as Andrew said in Boomeritis), consciousness sees itself and through which it evolves, necessitates a struggle against the bounds of my own inertia.  But, as I become more aware of what is True, the grip of the narcissistic Postmodern Sensitive Self loosens.   

Finally, in responding to the many of the questions that the students in my class asked, I felt at the edge of my own development.  It was a humbling experience. I didn't have any answers, just a desire to push further into the ice, and the knowledge that pushing further could only happen as a "We" that was pushing together-as-One.  

This week I had the pleasure and privilege to teach my first class in Evolutionary Enlightenment to 13 interested and engaged participants.  It felt as if everyone was drawn to the course out of some interest to grow and develop .  Indeed, I saw the class as if it were a station on our own journey of  evolution.   We began by looking at  these liberation teachings as fundamentally about the cultivation of depth and a learned perspective.  Since most of us are so caught up in our experiences and feelings we often draw false conclusions about what life is about.  We don't pay much attention to perspective.  We even  looked at the degree to which we are all living life as narcissists!    We went on to contemplate how most of what we think of as development is really about developing  aspects of our self that appear to be outside ourself , but rarely do we contemplate what it would mean if the Self, itself, could develop.   To begin this develpment we got a sense of the Self as it is prior to the arising of any objects or experience.

I learrned a lot from teaching this class.  The more I was able to let go of what I know and my reliance on my notes, and just be with everyone in this profound inquiry, the deeper and more engaged we all seem to become.  It felt as if I was beginning to go "into the unknown"  with everyone.

For those of you who are not familair with Evolutionary Enlightenment, check out this video.  For those of you who are participating in my class, as you can see, this blog is an opportunity for me to reflect on the course and how it is going.  It is also a place for anyone in the course to do the same - a fertlile ground for us to continue going into what gets opened up in class and what happens during the (contemplative) week between each class....